Tuesday, July 8, 2008

alive & kicking

Dreams often lead you to a junction: "Go for it" or "Let it go". Speaking of dreams, I've got this ability, but some experts call it 'lucid dreaming'. I'd stick to 'ability' . Heck, I should be a cast on "Heroes", I'm sure I'd make a great character.  But seriously, whenever I'm dreaming and it gets ugly, I can 'hop' onto another dream or wake up in reality...by falling asleep in my dream. Yup. As dumb as it sounds, it actually works for me! 

Growing up in my teen years, I had dreamt of playing soccer for the school team...never happened. But in my college years, I saw that coming to past - FUTSAL was my religion. You'd find me in the court right after classes, at midnight... I was determined to make it to the team, and i did, sorta. I was on the Team B - not too shabby! Seriously, with the international imports and their huge feet (size 12-14 on the average), I was honored to be amongst these giants. 

I gave it my all and was willing to pay the price to keep this dream alive. Then came...injuries. First, a heavy blow/contact to my left knee. Two weeks away from our inter-campus competition, I wasn't about to let it all go 'down the drain'. Next thing I knew, I was being carried out the court on game-day... knee busted. I was benched for the entire season, and that meant the following semester, I'd have to go for the 'try-outs' again if I intended to make it to the team. Hitting the fast forward button, I didn't make the cut...hung up those futsal shoes, and walked out with a whole load of 'battle' wounds.

So much for religion. Hah - literally adding salt to the wounds, in July '07 I had to undergo a knee surgery for a torn ligament (ACL) on my right knee. It cost a..leg. As if it couldn't get any worse... I found out that I have a complete tear on my left knee. Surprise? Ever had someone you strongly dislike pop by your house when least expected? Yeah, it felt like one of those moments. "Bad news, there's no 100% recovery rate even after surgery for a PCL tear." Just what I needed to hear; I was laughing in disbelief.  

Recalling the MRI scans, the epidural treatment - needle-in-spine; If God was trying to get my attention, He definitely got me. Bedridden, I had no where to look but...UP. S0meone once said, "When you look up, two things happen : God gets bigger, you get smaller." Suddenly the "dreams" I had didn't seem all that important anymore. It wasn't a near-death experience and I ain't racing for the 'Drama King' award, but rather a wake-up call to pursue the ultimate Dream Giver. 
It often takes a dying of personal dreams to create room for an eternal pursuit. 

"You can't seek His face and 'save' your face." - Tommy Tenney, The God Chasers 

The author is celebrating his 1st-year-post-surgery anniversary. He's dying to kick some balls...in due time.