Thursday, July 2, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Rumour has it that they soared the skies once upon a time. Thanks to Tony Fernandez & his zesty crew, chickens now can forget about the whole 'domestic' flight ordeal, book em' flight tickets online and just stay finger-licking-good. I'm guessing Chicken Little had a foot in this, taking "What's the matter? Too 'chicken' to fly?" perhaps a tad too seriously.
Acrophobia,rather... fear of heights?
Nah, not me. Catching the pilot divulge "We'll be experiencing a slight turbulence, please buckle up" over the intercom on my recent flight was pretty amusing though. Seat-belts were clickin' and half-baked-drowsy eyes were rollin'.
Window seats. Wow, thank you. They're for the brave. Seriously. Capturing the storm brewing outside kinda pricked the security bubble, conjuring up a familiar verse - "Yet once more I shake not only the earth, but also heaven.”
"His voice that time shook the earth to its foundations; this time—he's told us this quite plainly—he'll also rock the heavens: "One last shaking, from top to bottom, stem to stern." The phrase "one last shaking" means a thorough housecleaning, getting rid of all the historical and religious junk so that the unshakable essentials stand clear and uncluttered."
- The Message, Hebrews 12:26 & 27
Gulp. He sounded pretty serious about it, as if He was saying ... "This is your Captain speaking - we're about to go through turbulent times, buckle up and hold on tight. I'll carry you, and you...don't have to carry anything. Know that I AM in control."
Alrighty. You the Man.
When calamity strikes, victims tend to escape and cling to that which is precious; more often than not, they escape empty handed, hanging on to dear lives. Perhaps, that's where You need me to be... "empty handed but alive in Your hands".
No. The world ain't about to crash just yet. In fact, I found myself secretly applauding Ms. Air Stewardess for her outstanding safety procedure 'performance'. In case of emergencies or under 'pressure'? Grab the oxygen mask and...breathe. Oh, I'm sure breath mints come in handy too!
To infinity...and beyond!
The author reckons Westlife and Buzz Lightyear should high-five: "Flying without wings?" Nah, that's just "falling, with style."
Friday, January 9, 2009
Bravo, that's the first step in acknowledging the existence of a brain in the human anatomy. Yet, many times in irresistibly allowing the mouth to move quicker than the mind, intelligence is inevitably blown out the windows. Letting the cat out of the bag? Seriously? It looked like a whole herd of Bulls to me.
Evading curiosity & temptations to read-between-the-lines, these thoughts were ripple effects of a statement I read recently, "Assumption is life's lowest level of knowledge."
Honestly, I couldn’t agree more. Some folks tend to make assumptions with hopes to appear smart. Keep those hands down, this isn’t a guilt-trip invite! Forget Levi’s and Dockers, ‘Smarty Pants’ have been a fashion favourite ever since… Adam and Eve took up sewing lessons.
Recalling a trip to the zoo last year, speaking of bulls...they're a whole lot bigger (and badder!) than I had pictured em'. The burly-horny-animal (geez, it IS a big animal with horns) would be crowned king in a game of 'Bluff'' - better yet, the front cover of 'Poker-Face' Magazine.
Taking a li’l spin off, it's intriguing how we draw parallel lines between human personalities and animals:
bull - one who builds sky-crappy tower of lies.
pig - the glutton, face-stuffer.
elephant - just takes up too much space
chicken - the dude who crossed the road to prove that he wasn't just an egg. Get the yoke?
monkey - one that swings all around you in attempt to make you feel smart.
li'l bird - someone you should whisper ONLY your Christmas Wish-list to.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
"...but my dog's about to attempt to speak English. Sorry!"
I can't blame the mongrel for attempting to talk after chewing up all the 'homework'. Forget Einstein, someone should clench the Nobel Prize for "theoretical & creative discovery" in Blame-ology and Fine Arts of Excuses.
In my attempt to conceal my 'blemish' - I've been charged, tried and condemned guilty on countless occasions for making up excuses. I gotta admit, some of em' were close to being bestsellers on the 'fiction' shelves. "..well if you screw up, take it like a man!" Hey! Whatever happened to anti-discrimination and gender equality? Guess what? Real men cry…Boo-hoo.
At times, I think I'd make a pretty good chef. A personal favourite of the ol' excuse menu would be - "not my thing":
damsel-in-distress: Hey, could you help me out with this?
super-dimwit(me): That's really not my 'thing' you know, I'd totally like...mess it up. Rather not.
damsel-in-distress: *whatever. (*puts two "L" fingers together forming a "W")
Speaking of damsels, sometimes I envy em'. "I'm having cramps" has to be one of those gunshot one-liners that send the birds flying across the sky. The lads are often left dumbfounded fearing the aftermath. Far from generalizing, it's merely super-poking those that capitalize on the 'periodical tsunami'. "I have the right to be evil?" Yeah, major irony in that sentence.
Beyonce Knowles poured her soul in "If I were a boy"...interesting perspective. Yet, it would be a shame to tag it as a PMS-theme song wouldn’t it? PMS? Credit overdose.
"Thank you. Honestly, I don't deserve this. After all, I couldn't have done it without YOU". Hilarious, but that's exactly how the speech would probably sound like if anyone would clench the Mother-of-All-Excuses award; If there was one part of ‘creation’ we'd beat the Creator at, this would be it.
Lame excuses. Reflecting on those moments where I could have 'saved' the day or at least made it better for someone else, I'm now bent on giving everything a shot. Worst case scenario? Folks giving me the affirming 'well-you-gave-it-a-shot-but-it-ain't-your-thing-for-sure' as they resort to dialing 911.
Back to my English-speaking dog, she's honestly having cramps and from her howls, she’s not one that holds on to "if you've nothing good to say, don't say it." I'm off to walk her before she starts penning horror stories to Santa about me. *Falalalala-lala-la-la!*
The author has no affiliations and neither is he afflicted with PMS, he’s merely finding an excuse to blog about it.
Friday, November 7, 2008
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
That day arrived, America voted and...Obama won, belting a song of hope "Yes We Can" creating history as the first African-American to be elected President of the United States. Intrigued I was (still am), with his campaign speeches:
"I did not travel around this state over the last year and see a white South Carolina or a black South Carolina. I saw South Carolina."
"So understand this, South Carolina. The choice in this election is not between regions or religions or genders. It's not about rich versus poor, young versus old. And it is not about black versus white. This election is about the past versus the future."
"When I hear that we'll never overcome the racial divide in our politics, I think about that Republican woman who used to work for Strom Thurmond, who is now devoted to educating inner city children and who went out into the streets of South Carolina and knocked on doors for this campaign. Don't tell me we can't change. Yes, we can."
*"Yes, we can change. Yes, we can heal this nation. Yes, we can seize our future."
It's been close 50 years (45 years to be exact) and Mr. King's dream seems to be hiking it's way to its peak. In my attempt to squeeze to my feet into his shoes, I couldn't help but smile as a friend remarked, "Hey, you're where you always dreamt to be - the music scene. You dreamt of it while you were in high school, now you're living it."
Thanks dear friend, for reminding me of my high school ambitions. Honestly, I gotta admit - the dream was that of a selfish, young punk who had fame on his mind. Nothing wrong with that, it's just that I'm a li'l more wised up now. I'm willing to let it go as that of a stringed helium balloon. Fame? The li'l teaspoon I've had tasted pretty good yet I'd hate to choke myself with a bottle of pride. This dream's bigger than me, and the more I look up the more I realize...it's not about me.
Live the dream, don't just dream to live.
*the author finds "Malaysia Boleh" and "Yes We Can" uncannily identical. Who are the 'freakin' pirates' now aye?